Planning Your Ceremony Flow – Self Led Elopement Ceremony Guide
This is your guide for an awesome self led elopement ceremony, from vows to how to have a self led ceremony this will help you plan and prepare.
What is a self led ceremony? It is a ceremony with vows, rings exchange and more but no officiant. This works well for couples with no guests or in a remote area where an hiring an officiant may be difficult. You may be signing your license on this day after your ceremony or may have already taken care of that. We will get into all of that in more detail.
Your self led ceremony is about YOU—your love, your promises, and your adventure together. Writing your own vows makes it all the more meaningful, and I’m here to help make sure everything goes smoothly.
Since you won’t have an officiant guiding you, we’ll make sure everything runs smoothly in advance. As your photographer, I’ll help walk you through where to stand and how to position yourselves for the best experience and photos.
Here’s How It Works:
- We’ll choose the perfect spot at your ceremony site – the best spot for scenery for your vows
- I’ll help position you for the best light and background
- I recommend a quick run through of where you will stand and if you would like to walk into your ceremony and exit. Similar to having an aisle to walk down. This usually works well for beautiful photos and adds some drama but that is up to you!
- Take a deep breath and be present – I’ll capture those real, emotional moments as you read your vows to each other.
- Read your vows to each other – it doesn’t matter who goes first
- Exchange rings – No rush, just a natural, heartfelt moment between you two.
- Additional readings – if there are any additional readings from you or your guests
Celebrate! – Your first kiss, maybe walking back down your “aisle”, popping champagne, or just taking in the moment together.
A Few Tips For Your Self Led Elopement Ceremony:
Don’t make it too short!
Yes, an elopement ceremony is often short + sweet but this is also an important moment.
This is the reason we are gathering on this day and should not be rushed through or overlooked. I also want to get great photos of you from several angles, capturing the emotions and your guests if there are any present. Super short ceremonies/ vow exchanges will result in fewer photos of your ceremony so that is something to keep in mind.
Make your ceremony unique
You can incorporate any element into your ceremony from readings, to handfasting to any cultural elements you like.
Keep your license safe
If you are bringing a marriage license for your ceremony consider a folder to keep it safe + dry and of course a pen!
How to Write Your Own Vows for a Self-Led Elopement Ceremony
One of the most beautiful things about choosing to elope is the freedom to make your ceremony completely your own. If you’re planning a self-led ceremony—meaning no officiant, just the two of you exchanging vows in a stunning location—you have the opportunity to create something deeply personal and unforgettable.
As your elopement photographer, I want to make sure your experience is stress-free, meaningful, and beautifully documented. Let’s walk through how to craft your own vows, keep them organized, and ensure your ceremony flows seamlessly!
Step 1: Writing Your Own Vows
Your vows are the heart of your ceremony, and writing them yourself makes your elopement even more special. But if the idea of starting from scratch feels overwhelming, don’t worry—you don’t have to reinvent the wheel!
Tips for Writing Personalized Vows
- Start with your love story – Think about how you met, what made you fall in love, and what moments define your relationship.
- Make promises that matter – What do you truly want to commit to in your marriage? (e.g., “I promise to always make you laugh, even when life gets hard.”)
- Speak from the heart – Your vows don’t need to sound poetic or perfect, just real.
Online Resources for Writing Vows
Need a little more guidance? Check out these online resources:
- Wandering Wedding Guide to Writing your Own Vows– A fun, non-traditional approach to writing vows. Plus examples!
- Things to Consider When Writing Your Vows – Helpful tips!
Step 2: Keeping Your Vows Organized & Beautiful
Once you’ve written your vows, you’ll need a way to keep them safe and looking great for your ceremony. Enter: vow books!
Instead of reading from a phone screen, consider investing in a beautiful vow book. These not only keep your words organized but also make for stunning detail shots in your elopement photos.
Where to Find Beautiful Vow Books
- Etsy – You’ll find handcrafted, personalized vow books in every style imaginable. (Check out options like leather-bound, minimalist, or floral designs!)
- Local Stationery Shops – Supporting a small business while getting something unique!
Handle the legalities today or on another day
This part is totally up to you! You can handle the legalities at another time or even in another state if you have traveled for you elopement. Some couples like the simplicity of doing it on another occasion and then having this special day just for them to celebrate. Other couples want the photos and formality of signing their license on their elopement day. Either way is totally fine and we are here to help our couples navigate their options.
When choosing to sign your license at your elopement – you can rest assured that I am ordained and in many states that is all that is required. I sign your marriage license and fill out the form for you after you have both signed.
Your Montana Marriage License
You have the option of handling your legalities on another date at your convenience or bringing your marriage license on the day of your elopement.
I am ordained and can sign your marriage license in Montana! This state is quite flexible and any of your guests can also marry you by simply getting ordained online.
Marriage license rules and regulations vary from state to state but here is the info for the State of Montana:
Fee:
A $53 fee is required, payable in cash or by credit/debit card (no checks).
Identification:
Both applicants need to provide valid identification showing proof of age, such as a driver’s license, state ID card, birth certificate, or passport.
Application:
A marriage license application form must be completed, preferably online, and submitted to the Clerk of District Court in the desired county.
Validity:
The marriage license is valid for 180 days from the date of issuance to the date of the ceremony.
Where to Apply:
Marriage licenses can be obtained in any Montana county at the courthouse.
Return the License:
After the marriage ceremony, the completed license must be returned to the Clerk of Court within 30 days.
Witnesses:
The state of Montana does not require witnesses but the license has several lines to have witnesses sign if you like.
Check out some more real elopements!
